Lifestyle, On the Lighter Side

8 Things I’ll Never Say to a Radio DJ

1. If you’re active on the radio, does this make you radioactive?
Yes, I know. Dad jokes. Sorry. I had to get it out of the way. I said this to a DJ friend of mine once. Or, rather, I said it about him and my comment made its way to him via someone else. From the stinkeye he gave me the next time I saw him, I guess he didn’t appreciate the joke. So now I’m thinking twice before I make any further remarks about this honored profession, like:

2. What’s going on in those huge chunky headphones anyway?
Is that where your air traffic control talks to you? 😉

3. How do you make everything come together at the right time?
The songs, the jingles, the chatting — and you’re still on time for the news and weather and traffic and all that other stuff. This can’t be as easy as it looks, but you make it seem just… effortless.

4. Do you ever get stage fright?
I mean, you’re talking to hundreds, maybe thousands, of people. That’s, like, my worst ever public speaking nightmare scenario. But I guess since they’re not all sitting there in the room with you staring at you, it’s not so bad. I’d still be nervous, though, and when I’m nervous things tend to slip out that I didn’t mean to say. For sure I’d end up blurting out something on that Mysterious Rumored List Of Things The FCC Doesn’t Want You To Say On The Radio.

5. Sneezes, hiccups, and.. er.. worse things…
Yeah, what if any of that happens?

6. How do you not laugh!?
Human nature being what it is, people pull an awful lot of ridiculous stunts that end up on the news. Then you have to read the recap of it out loud on the air and keep a straight face. (I couldn’t do it.)

7. Do you ever not know what to say?
Is this even a thing? (If you weren’t laughing at me before, you are now. I can hear it.) If I had to be entertaining for that many hours on end, I think I’d probably have to have a lot of note cards with me. I pretty quickly reach a point where I just… don’t have anything to say anymore. But you radio people are always within easy reach of something quippy and clever. How do you do it?

8. We like you! A lot.
I’m saying “we” because I know I’m speaking for lots and lots of people when I say this. These days, we can hear the music we want pretty much anywhere. But there’s only one of you, and we can only find you in one place. If ever you’re not there, we notice, and the day is just not quite as happy as it would have been otherwise. You’ve touched thousands of people’s lives in ways you likely don’t even realize. Be proud of that!

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