Lifestyle, On the Lighter Side

To Stay Awake, Perchance to Be Productive

People ask me if I’m an early bird or a night owl. I don’t think I’m either one.

When I think early bird or morning person, the image that immediately comes to mind is one of a hardcore spartan who lives on granola and celery and gets up at sunrise every day to go on a 5-mile jog. Well, that’s not me, exactly, which my worn-out snooze button would tell you if it could talk.

And when I thinkĀ night owl, I think of my freshman year college roommates, who — if they didn’t have day jobs — would stay up most of the night and turn in at about the time that the jogger is getting up to go jogging. That’s definitely not me either. No burning the midnight oil for me. I can burn the 10 p.m. oil or the 11 p.m. oil with the best of them, but sometime between midnight and 1 a.m., something mysterious happens. The oil suddenly runs out and I turn into a pumpkin. It’s the darnedest thing. Happens every time.

But, unlike most night owls, at least I can “rise and shine” in the morning without much of a fight. I can also stay up later in the evening than most morning people, so I guess it’s nice to have that happy medium. “Early to bed, early to rise, makes one healthy and wealthy and wise”, they say, but health, wealth, and wisdom don’t have much to do with one’s bedtime if you ask me.

Anyway, what I wish I was, but regrettably am not, is an “afternoon person.”

The afternoon slump gets me really, really bad. It creeps up on me around 1 p.m. and subsides around six. Unfortunately, this time frame shares quite a bit of overlap with my work day.

I’ve followed all of Google’s suggestions to remedy this problem, and still it persists. I’ve tried upping my caffeine intake. I’ve tried lowering my caffeine intake. I’ve tried cutting out carbs at lunchtime. I’ve tried doing cardio and skipping lunch altogether. None of it works. Mr. Sandman still pays me a visit every afternoon without fail.

Maybe I shouldn’t fight it. Maybe Spain with its siestas is onto something.

Anyway, now, it’s about 3 p.m., so I’m up way past my bedtime. Good night!

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